Why am I getting an ADHD Assessment?

My ADHD assessment is coming up. I am incredibly nervous about it. I have a lot of imposter syndrome going on right now. I keeping on thinking that I am just making it all up, that they are going to think that I am 'fine' and that there is absolutely no way that I have ADHD. But I also know in my heart that this is me. I don't really need someone else to tell me. So, why am I getting an ADHD assessment?

I turned 40 in January this year and it wasn't long after my birthday that we had my son's initial triage appointment for his ADHD assessment. It was during this assessment that the paediatric nurse asked if there was any familial history of neurodivergence. I explained that currently there is only 1 officially diagnosed, however we are beginning to recognise that there is a whole lot of neurodivergence going on in our family. I said that I had been considering myself and the likelihood that I am ADHD. We continued with the initial triage for my son and the nurse explained that there wasn't actually a lot of questions that she needed to ask because I had been so thorough with the referral forms that I had completed. I asked if that was unusual and she said that it was. Most people just put yes/ no with no real detail. I had put a lot of detail. I thought this was odd as surely most people would put a lot of detail or context. Apparently not! We continued with the assessment and the nurse asked if a there were various things that were issues for our son, such as sitting down at the dinner table to eat a meal. We thought about it and suggested that the issues she mentioned weren't really issues as we managed these situations without putting too much stress/ expectation on our son.

By the end of the call, the nurse turned to me and said 'you know you have been considering your own likely neurodivergence, well I would suggest you go for an assessment'. I sort of laughed nervously as that felt pretty significant to have a professional say that. She continued to say that in order to have the understanding and knowledge that I have of my son's experiences and to be managing things in the way that we already are, only really comes about because I have likely been managing these things for myself. It suddenly dawned on me that this made a whole lot of sense. I intuitively just know what my son needs. I am not saying I do this perfectly or all of the time but where I had been doubting myself for a long time, I suddenly realised that I had a lot more knowledge and understanding than I thought.

Even at this point, I still wasn't sure that I needed to go for an assessment. I kept on saying to myself that I had to got to 40 years old without a diagnosis and that for all intents and purposes, I manage in life pretty well. However, during my recent training to become a Master Intuitive Psychology Coach, I have been doing a lot of work on myself in terms of the unconscious beliefs that I carry and the conditioning and labels that still impact on my behaviour and my self esteem. Through this work I have recognised the power of inner child work and how we can learn to give younger versions of ourself, the love and support that perhaps they never got.

When I made this connection, this is when I realised that 40 year old Natalie doesn't necessarily need a diagnosis but perhaps 7 year old Natalie does (or 14 year old Natalie, or all of the younger versions of myself). I have gone through the process of getting a diagnosis for my son so that he has a better understanding of himself and how his brain works in the hope that he doesn't have the same struggles that I have had. So I realised, if I can do this for my 7 year old son, then I can do it for 7 year old Natalie.

So, this is why I decided to go ahead with getting an assessment. Because I believe that we all deserve to understand how our brains work and to recognise that we aren't broken. That we don't need fixing and that learning to understand and work with our brains, in the way that they work, is one of the most healing and beautiful things that we can do for ourselves.

So if you aren't sure. If you are still considering getting an assessment. I am not here to tell you what is right or wrong, because that is your choice. But maybe, just consider all of the younger versions of yourself who perhaps are desperate for the understanding that may come from an assessment and a diagnosis.

Do it for her....

With love, Natalie x